“Do what you have to do, so you can do what you want to do” –Denzel Washington

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I have found that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” –Maya Angelou

These are just a couple of the quotes that have made there way into my daily rotation, permanently written down on old yellowing 3×5 cards pinned to the corkboard in my brain.

I use these for motivation and encouragement, I bring them out and use them in teaching moments with my kids, and often I consider them when making difficult decisions. These words spoken by different people from different backgrounds mean something to me, something that they will never know.

Which brings me to a very strange situation that happened to me a while ago. I was attending a conference in Los Angles.  I went to hear a speaker at a breakout session that I had never met, nor really knew anything about, but his session sounded interesting and had a clever title and honestly right before lunch that’s all I was looking for. Halfway through his power point presentation, this quote came up on the screen:

“If we are ever going to be able to truly own our faith, we are going to have to stop living a faith-life that is focused on waiting for someone to tell us what to do next”

-Erik Ewing

“What the *@&%^&?!? Did that guy just quote me? I started to freak out a little and my friend who was sitting next to me who had been half sleeping through the presentation just shrugged and went back to dozing.

I sat there transfixed looking at my own words projected on the screen with my name right there underneath. I half expected after a moment for everyone to turn towards me, point, and all start laughing. Maybe this was some elaborate prank. But, no one turned or pointed, they just nodded politely and went back to listening.

After the presentation I went up to the guy and introduced myself, he was as shocked as I was. He invited me to have lunch with him and a few of his friends. We had a nice chat about all the aspects of living in a small world and how serendipitous and crazy this whole situation was.

When I look back on this experience you would think that I would have some sense of pride, a feeling that maybe I’m more of a hot-shot than I thought. But the truth is, I actually feel a bit guilty, like I’d pulled something over on someone. I mean who am I that some comment I made in a talk 3 years ago would stick with someone enough that they would want to share that with other people? Truth be told, I felt that he kind of used my quote out of context, but I didn’t say anything, after all he was paying for lunch.

I think we would all be surprised by how much our words impact people, how those facebook posts and tweets resonate and stick with people and often times become a part of that quote bulletin board we all have in our head. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we should censor or over-think the thoughts we share with other people, but I think that this does bring up a bit of a thought on authenticity. The thing about that quote of mine is that it is honestly what I believe, I never thought it groundbreaking or quote-worthy it’s just the way I feel and so I shared it.

I believe that when we are honest and real with other people, both in the things we say and the things we do, when we live out our own quotes and when we create an attitude of acceptance when listening to others, we open up the door to the kind of dialogue that enriches both parties and has a ripple effect on our culture. A culture that has become swamped with 10-second sound bites and 140 character statements, that have become- just by the nature of our society- not opinion but truth.

This all boils down to something we talk a lot about at the DC, thinking critically. Listening to what others say, watching the way they live and interact and then processing that against our own beliefs and ideologies to create a life of faith and love that is grounded in understanding, acceptance, love, and compassion.

But all this starts with each one of us, individually realizing that we all have something to say, that the words we speak impact others in ways we will never know…

• When we talk to our kids, we’re leaving a quote.
• When we post a response on facebook to a controversial topic, we’re leaving a quote.
• When we smile and say thanks at a restaurant, we’re leaving a quote.
• When we get angry or frustrated and lash out, we’re leaving a quote.
• When we don’t say a word but stand next to someone in need/loss/pain, we’re leaving a quote.

So may we all strive to live a life of quote-worthiness, knowing when to speak, when to listen and when to let our silence do the talking.

Who knows at the very least we may end up getting a free lunch out of it.

Eavesdropping…I can honestly say, I’ve never done it.

At least in the literal sense

I have never stood in the area around another person’s house where the water drips from the eves to listen in on a private conversation. I do however spend a large amount of time in public places that facilitate conversation and sometimes I may or may not zone out of the work I have in front of me and drift into the stream of another table’s conversation.  Listening to other people in a public setting may be frowned upon my some, but for me it’s absolutely fascinating.

Along with the stinky brakes lady there is a table to my right with three Catholic Church leaders who are talking about how to get more people involved in their choir. To my left is a young couple holding hands and talking quietly about their plans for the summer, should she stay here in town or should he go home with her and work for her dad?  There is a table just behind me with two women balancing their checkbooks and talking about a friend of theirs that just found out she has breast cancer, she seeing a specialist next Tuesday.

From all over the room I can hear the bubbling rise and fall of several different conversations, each one a story in itself. Each one represents the most important issues to the people speaking and listening.

It is amazing to me that sitting here I am surrounded by so many stories, so many lives, so many experiences, each one will leave here and go live out the conversations that are taking place.

The church workers will leave here and go print up flyers, make phone calls, and write up announcements in an effort to get some more folks involved in their choir and maybe somewhere there is a person sitting at work or watching TV that is unbeknownst to them about to join a choir. Or maybe there’s no one that joins and a choir director is about to lose his/her job.

The young couple will leave here and maybe decide to go to a movie, get into a huge argument about what movie to see and break up, ruining all their plans for the summer they just made. Or maybe they wont, and by this time next year they’ll be married because it was his plan all along to ask her to marry him at the beach on her birthday (which is on June 21^st by the way…I’m not proud of over hearing that but she’s mentioned it twice)

And what about the two women behind me working out their finances and talking about how to support their friend? What will they do when they leave here, when their conversation’s over, what’s next for them? How will they support their friend? Do they have enough in their checking accounts to make it till the end of the month or will the one in the old sweater drinking water and tentatively, half-heartedly picking at the edge of her begal have to call her older sister to ask for money again, can she handle the humiliation of another it’s-time-to-grow-up-and-get-your-life-together speech?

So many people.

So many stories.

So many possibilities.

So what’s my point in all this? I’m not sure, it just strikes me as interesting how the same we all really are, all of us moving through this life, each one of us connecting with others, who connect with others, who connect with others and I just wonder how far all the concepts and ideas that make humanity great like love, passion, creativity, acceptance, and peace could travel from one connection to the next, like a jolt of electricity through a spider web.

Is it possible to show love and respect to a waitress in Boise and have that love travel all the way to a coffee house conversation in Lancaster PA, that could in turn be overheard by a guy who is suffering from a bad case of writers-block who wonders if anything he ever says or writes ever makes a difference in anyone’s life, who is inspired enough to type up his rambling thoughts on the matter and publish it on his blog?

And then you read it and…

The following list is made up of just a few things that I have come to realize over the years, most I learned the hard way and a few came easy, but they all came from taking the time to look back (and in some sense forward as well) and embrace my experiences, and really that is the message I wish to convey this week. Your life–now matter how long you’ve been traversing this mortal coil– is worth sharing, every day, every experience, every lesson learned is a page in the great story of humanity. The life you are living right now, as you read this, is an amazing tale that only you can tell, and there is a whole population of other characters out there that play a role in your story and you in theirs and those lives touch and spread out exponentially, we are all chapters in each others stories even if we never meet and because of that we are all important to each other.

“I would encourage us all, African Americans, Asians, Latinos, Whites, Native Americans to study history. I long for the time when all the human history is taught as one history. I am stronger because you are stronger. I am weaker if you are weak. So we are more alike than we are unlike”

-Maya Angelou

Allow me to throw out a challenge for us all this week, actually it’s more of a prayer really… often I find those two to be the same thing for in prayer aren’t we really verbalizing or imagining those things we wish to change about our situation? So the prayer is this:

May we all find someone to share our story with, and may we all be confronted with someone else’s story, and through this sharing may we grow closer to each other and appreciate the role we play in this world.

So here are a few things I’ve learned over the past 40 years…

• 1. Never brush your teeth and then drink orange juice.
• 2. The people who look down on you, do so cause they hate themselves more.
• 3. The taste of junk food far outweighs the guilt of eating it.
• 4. Nothing is ever finished.
• 5. Pretend everything thing you say to others will be remembered, because it will.
• 6. Balance is more important than perfection.
• 7. The entertainment industry began it’s descent into madness with the TV show “Manimal”
• 8. Opinions and ideologies will change but love wont, so start with love.
• 9. The world is so much bigger then our circle of perception.
• 10. Widen your circle of perception.
• 11. Don’t buy cheap shoes.
• 12. Everyone should try to watch the sunrise from above timberline at least once in their life.
• 13. Don’t make plans, set goals.
• 14. If a truth can’t be shared in love, it’s a lie.
• 15. You never look as bad as you think you do.
• 16. I’m wrong 90% of the time and so is everyone else.
• 17. This country will never be on track until Politicians and Teachers swap salaries.
• 18. Apathy is the most dangerous and destructive force in nature.
• 19. Every kid deserves to laugh.
• 20. Getting up early is better than staying up late…I never thought I’d say that!
• 21. Farts are always funny
• 22. Steer clear of people who treat those in the service industry with disrespect.
• 23. People who have different religious beliefs than you, are the some of the best people to have as friends.
• 24. When in doubt say yes. Then buy yourself time to come up with an excuse.
• 25. Buy local, eat natural, and support independent small businesses whenever you can, and that way you won’t feel near as guilty when you eat an entire bag of Cheetos.
• 26. Compassion isn’t an option for me it’s a requirement.
• 27. A good pillow makes all the difference.
• 28. At some point I’m going to need to stop apologizing and take a stand.
• 29. Sometimes the worst decision and the best decision are the same thing.
• 30. My wife is the coolest person I know.
• 31. Keep in touch with old friends they may end up being the key to your future.
• 32. You can’t love God, without loving others.
• 33. There are very few things in life that can compare to a really good cup of coffee.
• 34. As much as I hate to admit it, my mother was right about a lot of things.
• 35. Taking the time to watch someone create art is one of the greatest gifts you can give your self.
• 36. Don’t deconstruct unless you are willing to put in the time and effort into rebuilding something better.
• 37. Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly.
• 38. Everybody has a story worth listening to.
• 39. I want to live the kind of life that lets people know I was here.
• 40. I am loved…and so are you.

I would love to hear some of your life lessons, please feel free to share your thoughts.

Godspeed

-e

“The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems.”

                                                      Mahatma Gandhi

An old friend of mine has been on a kick to get me to watch a documentary for a while now. It is one of those situations where someone you love and respect is super passionate about something and is trying like crazy to get you to be into it as well; but, for some reason you just cant seem to take the leap. Maybe you don’t have the time, maybe you’re not interested in the idea or material, or maybe like me, you’re afraid that if it is REALLY as amazing and moving and life changing as they say, it could seriously mess with the statues quo. Well, to make a short story even shorter, two days ago I got a visit from the Fed-Ex guy with an unmarked cardboard box containing a copy of the film.

So I watched it.

And now my comfortable status quo has been significantly bitch-slapped.

The film is called “I AM” and it is the passion project of Hollywood Director Tom Shadyac. You might not recognize the name right away, but I’m sure you’ve heard of his other films; Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, Bruce Almighty, Liar Liar, and Patch Adams. There are others, but I’m sure you get the point by now.  The film is a look at how Tom came to a realization (literally by being hit on the head) that there must be more to life then simply chasing money and fame and that the value of competition and success is over-rated. He set out to ask and have great minds answer the questions “what’s wrong with the world” and “what can we do about it”. What he came away with was a unique picture of how we are all connected physically, spiritually, and socially and we are at our best when we focus on the bonds that unite us like compassion, empathy, community and love.

Needless to say, the voices in this film resonated with my soul!  It is validations to all of us who truly believe that humanity is worth saving, that we were made for so much more then to pull in a paycheck, drive a hybrid, or have our kids score the winning goal. It is a reminder that we are intrinsically connected to the person sitting next to us in the coffee shop or on the bus, and that in one way or another we are all broken and hurting…. even if we’re convinced that “everything is fine”.

Ok…so let me just stop right here for a minute, I heard that! Yeah, creepy right? But I can hear your thoughts as I’m typing this…

“Thanks erik…glad you liked the documentary from the guy who made Jim Carry talk out of his ass…and your thoughts are nice and all, but let’s be real…

…this is the way the world is and nothing is ever going to change.”

Well, dear friend, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the change has already begun and all the bitterness, cynicism and apathy in the world can’t stop it!  Things can change, people can change, hearts can change. I’ve seen it! Granted I’ve had to climb over a pile of 24hour news channels and violent and abusive economic practices but it’s there and it’s not some utopian, new age, pie-in-the-sky ideal. It’s the very beating of the human heart. It’s in the air that we take into our lungs that fuels us and causes us to take our next step. No this change won’t and shouldn’t happen over night. It happens slowly one person, one breath, one heartbeat at a time.

It happens whenever you or I put the needs of someone else in front of our own needs.  It happens when we realize that the words that come out of our mouths have the power to both create and destroy. It happens when we do one small thing, and the person next to us does one small thing, and the person next to them does one small thing, and so on and so on.

It’s all about doing those small simple things each day that are focused outwards, little unselfish sacrificial acts that remind us and others that we are connected and responsible for each other.

It’s been over two thousand years since Jesus boiled down religion to two simple concepts ‘love god, and love others’ and people are still confused about what that means. We convince ourselves that it’s not that easy so we construct these conditions for the love. Our faith has become a product or a brand like Apple or Nike and we cling to the identity of that brand and look down our noses at other consumers whose faith brand is different than ours. In so doing, we take the simple message of loving others and corrupt it with guidelines, instructions, and rules. Then, we wonder why it’s so hard to make a difference…it’s because we’ve never allowed ourselves to be different!

When we look at the problems out there, not just in the world, but also in our own backyards and in our own families it can be overwhelming.  It’s kind of like pushing a Buick to the top of Mount Everest with a broken foot. The issues out there are mammoth!

In the film, the Bishop Desmond Tutu is commenting on the idea of change and he asks:

“How does one go about eating an elephant?”

and after a pause…

“you eat it one bite at a time.”

I like that, it’s a clever take on the whole “drop in the bucket” idea. Plus it speaks to the desire I have always had to bite an elephant…come on, like you’ve never thought about it.

So…

For those of you that are out there, like me, who are passionate about sharing hope, peace and unconditional love…

For those of us who believe that acceptance is more powerful than hate and that simple tolerance isn’t enough…

For those of us that value honesty and authenticity over “the right answer”…

For those of us who get a kick out of smiling at strangers, anonymously doing stuff for other people, and saying yes, when we really want to say no…

For those of us that day after day, sit down at the table, tie a napkin around our neck and proceed to masticate that pachyderm, there is hope!

You see the secret to this daunting task of making the world a better place is that we don’t have to do it alone. There are pockets of change everywhere. There is a palpable and significant shift happening today, elephant eating dinner parties are happening in churches, synagogues, mosques, schools, homes and businesses all over the world. Places where people are methodically, passionately, and intentionally discussing and practicing love.

Sure this shift is small and seemingly insignificant, but what’s the other option? Do nothing? Time to pull out the Edmund Burke…

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

Another word for this is denial, which is the active turning away from an issue that is staring us right in the face. It’s making a concise decision to do nothing. It doesn’t take a Historian to see how denial has panned out over the years…. Slavery, Nazi Germany, Women’s equality, the Civil Rights movement all had people who turned away and ignored the problem or actively denied the problem existed. But, then there came a shift in thought and people who were willing to take small steps of love, compassion and justice, which would help to change those things. Are these issues still around today? Sure, but they are now viewed by the majority in the proper context.

So to those that struggle with the idea that things cannot change, that this is the way the world is and that it will always be this way until either the Zombie Apocalypse or the Second Coming of Christ, I simply say to you, with all the love in my heart:

I’m sorry, and you should probably cover your head because the shift is about to hit the fan.

Godspeed.

Godspeed.

In February of 1983, I had a moment that would come to define me as a person. It was, in one moment,  a tragic adolescent event of near biblical proportions –pause for dramatic effect — and has become a touchstone for my understanding of compassion and empathy.

It was Valentines Day, and I was in love.

“I am glad it cannot happen twice, the fever of first love. For it is a fever, and a burden, too, whatever the poets may say.” 

― Daphne du Maurier, ‘Rebecca’

I sat at my desk, watching each kid walk to the front of the room to collect their valentines bags, the day before each one of us had been given a white paper bag, red and pink construction paper and the instructions to decorate a bag that would be taped to the chalk tray of the blackboard, then tomorrow, on Valentines Day each person will put their valentine cards in each students bag, a ritual that was repeated year after year in elementary schools all over America. This year I was especially proud of both my choice of Valentines Day cards and my bag decorating skills. I had convince my mom the night before at Walgreens to shell out the extra buck so I could get the more expensive E.T. (the Extra Terrestrial) cards, each one depicting a different scene from the movie.  My favorite was the card with all the kids taking off on their bicycles, flying above the cop cars and FBI agents with the words “Love is in the Air” written on the bottom.  I was saving that one particular card for her, Gina Carroll, the love of my life. I stood there in the card aisle, staring at the picture of E.T. sitting in the basket on the front of Elliot’s bike, blanket draped over his head so that his big alien eyes stuck out, and thought of Gina’s big brown eyes looking back into mine. She would read the card and know how I felt, and she would confess her undying love for me and the two of us would hop on our own bikes and fly into the sky only instead of using the telekinesis of a marooned alien, we would soar into the clouds on the waves of our mutual affection.

Or at the very least I could get her to kiss me behind the equipment shed at recess.

Elliot: He’s a man from outer space and we’re taking him to his spaceship. 

Greg: Well, can’t he just beam up? 

Elliot: This is *reality*, Greg.

-From E.T. the Extra Terrestrial 

One by one my fellow 4^th graders walked to the front of the room and peered into their bags as they pulled them off the wall and walked back to their desk to wait. Our teacher Mrs. Fenderdine, always with a flare for the dramatic (along with teaching, she was a staple in the local Shakespeare in the Park troop) was making us wait until all the students had gotten their bags before she read a poem by Keats, then we could open our bags and examine the cards. I have to admit that I actually loved her for this pomp-and-circumstance; it made the whole process more intriguing.

The anticipation was killing me, I kept glancing over at Gina, four seats over on my left.  She had been one of the first ones to collect her bag. I could see her sneaking looks into the bag and around the room. The anticipation was getting to her too. I wondered if she knew, if she had any idea of my feelings for her, if she shared the same feeling for me, I wondered if she had, had the same conversation with her mother for a particular pack of cards that would convey just the right sentiment towards me? I was lost in my thoughts when Mrs. Federdine called my name.

“Pleasure is oft a visitant; but pain / Clings cruelly to us.”

 -John Keats 

I got up from my desk and slowly walked towards the front of the room, I was zeroed in on my bag hanging on the bottom of the chalk board 3^rd from the left. As I said before I was very proud of the job I did decorating my bag, I had spent a lot of time making it perfect  . I wanted it to reflect both my personality and the spirit of the day. It was covered in cut out pink and red hearts some had these springy folded up accordion style slips of paper behind them to make them look like they were bouncing off the bag. Not to toot my own horn, but my bag really stood out. With all these feelings of young love and creative pride I was troubled to realize that another feeling had begun to take hold of my being…

dread.

Something was wrong, as I got closer and got a good look at my bag hanging there from a small piece of tape on the aluminum lip of the chalk tray it noticed it wasn’t hanging low, struggling to hold the weight of all the colorful cards stuffed inside, instead it just sat there just as I put it up the day before. The two bags on either side looked like they would fall to the ground and burst open at any minute.

Could it be? Was it possible? My mind raced as I slowly drew closer, I played back every interaction I had with my fellow students over the past few weeks replaying any actions or words that I might have done or said that would result in me not getting a Valentines Day card from someone. I did laugh at Elroy Metter when he farted during silent reading last Tuesday, and then there was the time I borrowed Samantha Greenburg’s eraser and lost it, and of course there was the lopsided trade I made with Matt Carson at lunch the day before, but I mean come on who trades a Twinkie for half a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich anyway? Could any of these people be so vengeful over these trivial events as to deny me a valentine?

“I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. They don’t teach you anything worth knowing.”

-Neil Gaiman 

I stood there looking down at my bag, I was frozen. I literally couldn’t move. It was if I had simultaneously been punched in the stomach and had cold water thrown on my soul.

My bag was empty.

I don’t mean it only had one or two cards in it, I mean it was devoid of all contents. My brain screamed at me out of pure self-preservation to grab the bag and pretend that nothing was wrong, to go back to my desk with a smile on my face. But I couldn’t move, my eyes began to water and my throat was getting tight. I prayed harder in that moment then I had in my whole life up to that point, begging God not to let me cry. My trembling hands reached out and took hold of the empty bag, the tape holding the bag to the tray decided to have a little fun of its own and held steady causing the top of the bag to rip, the sound echoed in my head. The bag had no weight at all; it was if it didn’t even exist. As I turned and walked back to my desk my feet felt like they were made of marble, each step took more effort then the last.

Despite my broken heart – and being a glutton for punishment – I looked over to where Gina was sitting. She was giggling and whispering to Tonya Byer, her best friend who sat behind her.  In that moment watching her without a care in the world, ignoring the full bag of adoration spilling out in front of her, I came to realize that life was going to be as lopsided as my lunch trade with Matt the day before.

That some people; the beautiful, the popular, the rich, the lucky, would always have full bags and that others; the invisible, the ordinary,  the forgotten, would go through life desperately tying to overcompensate by dressing up their empty bags only to have them ultimately get torn and ignored.

I dropped into my seat and put my head down on the desk, I didn’t care who saw me, I couldn’t pretend anymore that I wasn’t in pain. I let the tears come, squeezing my eyes shut tightly feeling them make tracks down the side of my nose and drop onto the desk top making a small pool that I wiped away with my sleeve. I sat there with the sound of my own breath echoing in the cavern I had created with my folded arms, my mind drifted off, struggling to get away from the pain of the past few minutes, minutes that seemed to have always been and would always be. Every time I inhaled I could feel the rejection as though it was something physical, like slivers of glass working their way deeper into my chest. The sounds of my classmates opening their bags and rummaging through them looking for the cards with candy hearts attached became something ethereal and far away. Slowly my mind began to clear…

And I began to remember a movie that we had watched in class a few months back. It was one of those movies that you were convinced the teacher was showing because she needed a break  and not because it has any kind of educational value.   It was called “Cipher in the Snow” and it was about some loner teenager who gets off the school bus and drops dead for apparently no reason.  It turns out the kid died from being ignored; he just gave up living. Remembering that movie jolted me out of my introspective funk and for a second I thought it might actually happen to me, with that fearful realization the pain of being overlooked was forced to morph into a numb apathy, my body begun to adapt and my emotions had already started constructing a defensive armor that would both protect and distance me from others. I took one more painful breath wiped my nose and slowly lifted my head, the lights hurt my eyes and it took me a moment to adjust to what was going on around me, to refocus and take stock. I was still at my desk, my bag was still empty, my spirit was still bruised, but I wasn’t laying face down dead in the snow, and at that moment, that was enough.

I wish I could tell you that things got better that day, that there was some simple explanation for why my bag was empty, some misunderstanding or bad practical joke that went too far. Truth is I still struggle with the lingering feelings of rejection from that experience, even now almost 30 years later.

Get over it, right?

I’m married to a wonderful person who makes me feel like the most important person who ever lived, I have two amazing kids who are funny and sweet, why dwell in the past? Actually in many ways I have “gotten over it” but what that experience did was open up a window that I have never been able to fully close — and honestly I hope I never do — because it has helped me to see that we are surrounded everyday by people just like us, who are struggling with rejection and loss.

And what most of them need is the same thing that all of us crave, acceptance and love. A simple smile or nod on the street or in the mall that lets another person know that they are noticed and that their existence is not invisible; that we are all in this strange experiment called humanity together. I hope that we never get so bitter, apathetic, and jaded that we ever forget that.

Sometimes I wonder. It’s hard to have hope when you turn on the news and hear about all the things that separate us as a culture; politics, religion, economics, etc… it can become almost overwhelming. But, as we sit there and consume all those things that divide us, may we also find time to look for those things that knit us together, things like hope and love, compassion and empathy, gratitude and appreciation…

And Valentines Day cards.

When and if.

It was like one of those science fiction movies where the future me comes back through time with a message to warn me of an impending doom, only I could see no foreboding in the words.

When and if.

When, when what?

When I’m older?

When I’m richer?

When I’m satisfied?

When I’ve completed all those things on my “to do” list?

When I’ve figured it all out, life, faith, fatherhood, the ending of LOST?

What did When mean?

And if?

If I don’t screw up?

If I follow my dreams?

If I say no to doubt and fear?

If what?

The possibilities seemed endless. Sitting there with my coffee slowing getting colder, I narrowly focused on decoding my own thoughts and it occurred to me that I must have put these words together for a reason. It wasn’t… when OR if, but

When AND if

That seemed to make more sense. It was the “and” that was the most important part of this message, it’s the “and” that joins the responsibility of When with the hope of if.

As I get older, leaving the naivety of youth well in the distance and setting up camp deep in the territories of actual adulthood, I’ve begun to realize that the tomorrow I had looked towards and planned for has not only come to pass but flown right by me and become yesterday. This isn’t a bad thing, please don’t get me wrong, this is far from being a lament for my lost youth, in fact these words have helped me to gain a sure foothold on the years to come.

When (responsibility) AND if (hope).

A wise person once told me:

“You can’t look back and walk forward at the same time, if you do you’ll trip and you run the risk of getting hurt. So, you can choose to stand still looking back pining for what was, or you can turn your head, face front and walk forward.”

When (the responsibility to move forward) AND if (the hope of what is yet to come).

I think it’s about moving forward, about dreaming big while enjoying what is. I’m not sure what frame of mind I was in when I wrote those words on a lonely piece of paper in the middle of my journal. It’s strange because I usually have a great memory just ask… what’s her name…my wife. Maybe it’s the getting older thing or maybe it actually was some time-traveling version of myself? But, as I sat there my coffee now a complete lost cause due to neglect, I was flooded with a sense of peace and reassurance that has changed over the past few days to become a strange internal dichotomy of restless anticipation and utter contentment. The peaks and valleys of the past have prepared and trained me for the challenges of the yet to come. And, around each and every corner I’m amazed to find beauty in a journey of possibilities, in the dramatic movement of every twist and turn, in the reassurance of hope, and in the mystery of hidden messages.

The beauty in the when and ifs

it’s one of those words…

the kind of word that looks like it is ready to circumnavigate the globe via steam ship.

Why?

Because of the baggage it has to carry (groan).

But seriously, just a simple “Googling” of the word can bring up pages ranging from court cases and jurisprudence to political rants that have key words like Marxism, Communism, Classism, and pretty much any other “ism” you can think of.

Is a shame really because at its core Justice is a pretty humble and unpretentious concept, it’s one goal is peace.

Peace, there’s another word.

Its amazing really when you think about it how some of the most simple, universal, and inherent ideas have been co-opted by different groups and either put up on a pedestal or thrown to the wolves.

But I digress.

For the past few weeks we as a community have been looking at the idea of Oiktirmos the Greek word for compassion found in the book of Philippians, it is a very profound translation of the word, because it speaks to having a love for others that is more than a surface love or appreciation for our fellow humans, but instead delves into our inner workings. It could be said that this type of compassion is a type of “soul love” for others, a love that is literally a part of our physical and spiritual DNA. It’s not compassion as an action or event, but as a part of who we are as an individual.

It’s about being proactive with our love, not just reactive.

And so this week we come to the idea of Justice, the idea that all too often unfair things happen to innocent people, that in this world there are those who are being oppressed, taken advantage of, there are people who have very few if anyone to stand up for them, when they can no longer stand for themselves.

This is not a conversation about ethics, utilitarianism, crime and punishment, or the redistribution of wealth. It’s not a discussion about politics or social issues. It’s about you and me and our responsibility to seeking out avenues of fairness within our own lives and reaching out to the mistreated and oppressed.

**New friends, old friends, strangers, dreamers, doubters, questionuats, and seekers are always welcome!

But, for the most part, people just smile.

And in the end isn’t that what it’s all about? Just helping one person for one fleeting moment feel appreciated and loved enough to crack a smile, to release a momentary surge of endorphins, to create if even for the briefest of moments a real human connection with another person simply by acknowledging that they are not a something but a someone.

So, in this weeks post I want to share some appreciation, I want to take a page from the many awards shows that have been broadcast over the last few weeks, and mention a few individuals and things that make the day a little better. Spread a little positivity! I want to give props to some of the unsung heroes out there, who seldom, if ever, get their due.

So THANK YOU in no particular order…

• To my Mom, it just seemed like the right place to start.
• To Coffee, lets face it without you life is boring and unproductive
• To the people who grow, pick, and package coffee
• To the makers of coffee cups and travel mugs
• To that strange guy who’s always hanging out at the Manheim/Mount Joy exit off 283, you’re yelling at someone and I can only imagine they deserve it!
• To William Barclay your Commentaries have helped define much of our collective understanding of theology.
• Rye Bread, you make the best toast and you know it.
• To anyone toiling away in their basement inventing something to improve the human condition…lets hope it’s a jetpack.
• To anyone who has been put down, bullied, or told that they are “second class citizens” and still manage to get up each day look at themselves in the mirror and smile…you are my hero!
• To anyone who has been put down, bullied, or told that they are a “second class citizens” and still manage to get up each day look at themselves in the mirror without smiling…you are my hero and know that until you can, I’ll be smiling for you!
• Beer.
• To anyone who gets up day after day to go to a job they hate to provide for their family.
• To grandparents who raise their grandkids.
• To the guy who replaces the light bulbs on radio towers…I actually know a guy who did that…thanks!
• To the square pegs being forced into round holes.
• To people who smile and say thank you to people they don’t know.
• To kids who still dream of becoming astronauts.
• To anyone who has devoted their lives and sacrificed their own comfort and social standing to make a stand for what is right, even if their views aren’t popular.
• To the person who invented the machine that puts the cream filling in Twinkies…my hat is off to you!
• To those who not only aren’t afraid to create something new and beautiful, but refuse to destroy something else to do it.
• To single parents who never get the break they need, nor the credit they deserve.
• To Jesus for completely and utterly ruining my life…in a good way.
• To marshmallows, I got to be honest I’m not a huge fan, but without you there would be no SMORES and that just doesn’t seem right.
• To anyone who plays an instrument and or sings without the need of any digital alteration.
• To old guys who fart in public cause they just don’t care anymore what people think.
• To Anne Lamott, J.J. Abrams, Dr. Victor Frankel and Steve Jobs. Why those four? Why not!
• Did I mention coffee?
• To dreamers, doubters, seekers, searchers, and anyone else who looks outside of what they know of truth with an open heart and mind.
• To communities that pool their resources and live simply so they can share with others in need.
• To people who still rock the mullet.
• To the Westborough Baptist Church, for making almost everyone else in the world look sane in comparison…alright that was a bit snarky, sorry.
• To the LED’s, for putting a nail in the coffin of overhead fluorescent lights…those things suck at my soul.
• To my wife for being sexy.
• To all the volunteers and coordinators of the Trevor Project, a help line for LGBTQ teens (1-866-488-7386)
• For people who have to wear suits to work, there but by the grace of God go I.
• To the amazingly beautiful people of Haiti, see you again soon.
• To Charles Elmer Doolin inventor of the Cheetos, my orange stained fingers salute you.
• To teachers who still believe that they can make a difference, and fight for the rights of their co-workers and kids, you deserve better!
• To anyone who has been hurt by a religious establishment and has been able to move past the bitterness and pain to begin again down the path of spiritual experience.
• To Dragonflies, in my humble opinion the coolest of the flying insects.
• To the small business owner who has had the same salary for years so they can give their employees Christmas bonuses.
• To anyone who has been challenged, confronted, or touched by cancer, which statistically speaking is all of us.
• To shrimpers, truckers, crabbers, loggers, fisherman, and swamp people who don’t have a show on cable.
• To the people who are still reading this!
• To the fine folks at Chaco for making superior footwear, my new clogs might just be the only thing I ever put on my feet again…sorry Sanuk.
• To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for so that strangers can sleep safe at night.
• To all those people who are hurting and afraid right now, who think that no one cares or understands what it is you are going through. Know that you are not alone, and that there are still great pockets of love in the world. Heck, call me I’ll listen 717-575-1087
• And finally to you, for making it to the end. I would love to hear your “shout-outs” if you feel so inclined and I bet I’m not the only one!

Thank you and Godspeed

-erik