This Sunday we got together for our first gathering of 2012 and along with some killer French Toast courtesy of Christy we spent some time looking at the calendar and discussing some of the new goals of the DC. But, before we get into that, I wanted to quickly share a couple thoughts. So if you’ll indulge me, I would like to spend a minute or two (depending on how fast you read) and let you in on some things that have been bouncing around in my chapeau-covered noggin.
I recently had a conversation, via the inter-web, with a former college chum who shared his concern with the spiritual direction of the Definition Collective and my personal “salvation”. This was followed with another conversation that I had with a local friend who was wondering if my gifts of “effectively communicating the gospel” were being fully utilized. Having both of these dear friends share their concerns with me caused a great deal of self- doubt (something I have a tremendous talent for) and introspection. I want it made clear that I love both these folks and respect their opinion and concern for me, and my connection with the divine. Which is why I have taken their insights to heart and while I don’t feel the need to delve into a comprehensive defense of my personal theology, I did think that this topic might make for an interesting conversation. So let me just say this…
I love Jesus; I think he’s cool.
It’s that simple.
You see Jesus and I have been through a lot together. We’ve had good times and bad times. Some of the stuff we have been through together is funny, or at least it’s funny now, some times it’s been profoundly moving one could say “life changing” but there have also been many times we have gone without speaking because of feelings of pain and abandonment. Sometimes I share with people, if it fits in the conversation, about those times; but, when it comes to the depth of our relationship well, that’s when I tend to keep things to myself. It’s kind of like the relationship I have with my wife. I love my wife; I think she’s cool and we’ve been through a lot together, some good some bad and I love telling people about my wife and hopefully after getting to know me a little you will be able to see the love and respect I have for her, you wont need me to put a bumper sticker on my car or wear a t-shirt that says “I love my wife” you’ll just know it, because you know me. With all that said there are some parts of the relationship my wife and I have that I don’t think is appropriate or necessary to share with everyone because those things are just between her and I. And I kind of feel the same way with my relationship with Jesus, I don’t say that to be rude, it’s just that there are certain aspects of our relationship that are private, special, intimate.
I am also fully aware that a lot of my friends have had different experiences with Jesus and think he’s a jerk. Some are more interested in Him as a historical figure, a great teacher or philosopher but are no more interested in exploring a relationship with Him then they would Gandhi or Abraham Lincoln. Sometimes I think He takes the blame for things that aren’t his fault, and when that happens I try and stick up for him, but most of the time I just try and listen to other peoples’ stories. I think that’s what I’m supposed to do. Listen. And I do that because I honestly care, sounds cheesy but it’s true. I made the decision a long time ago to devote my life to spiritual pursuits, to try and understand the mystery of God, it’s what I’m passionate about. 10 years ago the perfect day for me would have been to spend the day locked in a room with the complete works of G.K. Chesterton, F.F. Bruce, Bonheoffer, and Barclay but now it would be sitting in a room with a full pot of coffee and a bunch of different people with vastly different backgrounds and listen to their stories about their encounters, doubts, frustrations, questions, joys, triumphs and challenges with God.
That’s what I hope the “spiritual direction” of the DC is, and will continue to be at least for the time being. I hope it will be a place to share and collect God stories. I know that it’s not for everyone. It’s a whole different thing to be “spiritually fed” from a conversation when you’re used to a sermon. It’s awkward to worship God through sharing burdens when you grew up singing hymns. I understand that, it’s not better or worse, wrong or right it’s just different.
I spent 18 years talking about God, sharing my thoughts and stories at churches, schools, camps, conferences and retreats and maybe someday I’ll do it again. But, only after I have taken some time to hear other peoples’ stories, other peoples’ thoughts……
Only after I have taken more time to listen.
I hope it goes without saying that this is not a defense but an answer, and I share these thoughts not in any misguided attempt to “clear my name” because I don’t think that either one of my friends were accusing me of anything. They were simply doing what I am hoping to do with this post, to get us all thinking about our faith and candor. Or what is productive and also counter-productive about how our faith plays out in our lives. I personally am a big believer in the old adage that you “say more with less words”. I often get the feeling that those who are the most vocal about their faith are often the most insecure and the last thing I want is to let people into my insecurities (because it’s vast…and they would get lost) instead I quietly, passionately want my life to reflect love, the love of God and the love of those friends and family that I am surrounded with. So this week lets all spend a couple minutes thinking about the “us” that people see, I know for me this has been a great exercise, looking at myself from the outside. And then maybe we can try and implement some ways to either let more of ourselves shine, or maybe pull back a bit and let our actions speak louder then our words.
speaking of which…
…as I mentioned 700 or so words ago, we spent some time this past Sunday looking at a few aspects of 2012. The first one of note is that at each brunch this year (still the first Sunday of every month) will be devoted to discussing, planning, and brainstorming for that particular months Clever Love project. This months project will be on Sunday the 29th when we will be spending time in one of Lancaster counties more underfunded or forgotten nursing homes running a BINGO game in their Common Room.
More details will be coming out soon but for right now, we do need folks to do some prize shopping (Dollar Store, Wal-Mart, Kmart, etc…) just grab a couple things that can be put on the prize table, think “fun necessities” make sure to share any ideas or thoughts on the Clever Love Facebook Page .
I know that the idea of spending time in a nursing home can be intimidating or out of your comfort zone, maybe like me, just setting foot in a place like that can bring up painful memories. But, I have come to see that there is a huge population of “forgotten” people in our culture, they are the elderly, the physically and mentally challenged folks that live in many specialized apartments. For us to spend a couple hours playing games and talking to them can make a world of difference and all it costs us is a couple minutes of awkwardness. Please call me if you have any questions about this months project or if you have some ideas for this or future Clever Love campaigns.
Godspeed and thanks for listening:)
-e
JUSTICE.
